Crafts and fibromyalgia: help or hinderance?

On Wednesday I was really excited because my husband bought me a fold-away table for my sewing machine, meaning that I wouldn’t have to wait for him to finish using the other fold-away table so that I could use said sewing machine.

So on Thursday, eager to test out the newly serviced sewing machine with the new table, I decided it was time to finally finish the peg bag I started in the summer. I re-designed what I had started because I wasn’t able to get a straight hanger and had to use instead a regular triangular wooden coat hanger with a metal hook. I gave it a lot of thought and consideration before I cut the fabric, ironed it, hemmed it and sewed it all together and it really doesn’t look too bad for a first attempt.

But then tragedy struck.  I felt absolutely fine while I was designing, preparing and making the peg bag, but once I had finished and tidied everything away, I suddenly felt very tired and achy. No, achy is too mild a word. My limbs were on fire with the pain that I felt, yet they were moving as though cold as ice. I was suffering a flare up of the fibromyalgia.

Fortunately, this flare-up has been fairly short-lived, but I still have residual pain and stiffness.  I now have to be constantly aware of the fibromyalgia and my capabilities with it. A few years ago I would have thought nothing of sewing up a whole dress during the day, but now just piecing together a small and simple peg bag can be disastrous for me. I only managed to stay out of bed for eight hours that day, and slept for sixteen hours that night. Sixteen! that’s a record, even for me! And I’m still struggling to wake up in the morning and stay awake during the day. I was hoping to line a top I have knitted in time to wear to a funeral this week,  but alas I fear this may be a little out of my reach for now, so it will have to wait. Some more.

Usually, crafts like sewing and knitting etc help me ignore my pain and stiffness and other symptoms of fibromyalgia that I suffer with day to day, which I have always considered to be a good thing. I usually realise before it’s too late that I am trying to do too much, so what went wrong this time?

I suppose it could be the lifting of the rather heavy sewing machine and the moving of the not so heavy but slightly awkward table. That would make sense. I suppose I should make more use of the big strong husband who dotes on me and allow him to set up my equipment and tidy away again.

Maybe that is the answer. Next time, I shall ask Jay to do that for me and see if it makes a difference to the pure exhaustion I felt this time. I’ll keep you posted.

? – I don’t know!

Well I managed to survive the snow without falling over, but does it ever hurt trying to walk in that stuff!!!

Since the snow disappeared though, pain levels have not improved and I am suffering with fibrofog more than ever. Have I even written that right? I have no idea… And don’t even get me started on tiredness and fatigue!

I have managed to finish a cross stitch project and knit a couple of pairs of socks and I will soon be starting to knit a jumper (if my wrists and shoulders will allow me to knit something larger than a sock, that is lol!) so all is not bad.

Snow and fibro – do they make good bedfellows?

The short answer to this is no, definitely not (in my case at least).

I have not been able to feel my fingertips, feet or the tip of my nose for well over a week now, despite wearing three layers and four pairs of socks. I do not react well to the cold and find it hard to move, so when I had to go out in the snow, I was not best pleased. Not only did I find it awkward to walk because of the cold and my knee problem, I had to walk differently to avoid slipping, which hurt even more! The local council do not appear to have a regular grit policy and have not gritted the road where I live because it is not a bus route. That said, my Mum lives on a bus route and her road is only partially gritted (on one side for part of the way; the bus goes along the entire length of the road).

My husband has contacted the council about a grit box in our close so that residents can grit the themselves, but we have heard nothing back as yet. We have witnessed two accidents within the close and several people slipping and sliding because it’s just not safe to walk on the pavement or the road.

Every muscle, ligament and soft tissue in my body is screaming at me for something, but I’m buggered if I know what. I have upped my meds but that doesn’t seem to have helped so far.

I’m at a loss. I find it almost impossible to get warm, let alone stay warm, despite central heating in a new build and candles lit in the evening in the living room. At least I have my nuclear reactor of a husband to keep me warm in bed!

The weather reports threaten more heavy snow today or tomorrow, but then the temperature should rise somewhat for heavy rain at the weekend. I guess we’ll find out if I can indeed warm up then!

fibro and alcohol: not a good combo

And I am living in testament to this.

That’s right folks, I stupidly decided to have a tot of Baileys and a glass of wine to celebrate the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010. And now my fibro has flared up.

Very badly.

I am not happy.

In fact, I am downright miserable as a result of the amount of pain my stupid mistake has caused me.

Hmph!

So I finally relented and went to see the GP about the nasty acne on my back and he gave me antibiotics for it. Two months’ worth of nasty ones to be precise. And a steroid cream for the contact dermatitis on my finger that’s stopping me from wearing my wedding ring.

So now I feel sick. Damn drugs.

Aside from the annoying acne on my back and the irritating contact dermatitis, things are kind of ok. I have been very busy making Christmas cards, hence the recent absence, and only have one Christmas present left to buy. Still a lot of knitting to do though, so will have to get on with that shortly…

R is much better now, and we hope for more news on L at the end of next week, so maybe more info there in my next post.

Quite boring really…

The longest fortnight of my life…

… and I still can’t blog about why. *makes noise of frustration*

 

The fibro is really playing up, not only because of the stress of the last two weeks, but also because I have caught some kind of virus involving a sore throat, a cough and a cold. Lovely. I missed both the flu jab and the swine flu jab as a result (apparently you can’t have them if you’re ill already), so I just have to hope that this clears up before the next batch is delivered to the surgery, and that I don’t get this sodding swine flue in the meantime.

 

Being almost constantly ill and continually in pain is really dragging me down. I’m trying not to let it, and have been persisting in making my own Christmas cards, but it seems to be working its way through that. Hmph.

A long and stressful week

It really has been a long and stressful week – and I don’t mean because this blogging week includes two weekends!

 

I have a lot of family stuff going on at the moment, which is not very nice and shouldn’t ever have happened, but it has and we all just have to deal with it. Unfortunately, dealing with it brings with it a nasty fibro flare-up and very nasty acne on my back bad enough that It actually hurts to lean against anything or lie on my back (which I have been doing an awful lot in my sleep lately…) Fortunately, I think I’m over the worst of the flare-up now, but events tomorrow and at the beginning of December could well change that. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to divulge any details at the present time, but I am sure all will become apparent (and probably public knowledge) in due course. Until that time, you’ll just have to take my word for it that things are not good. In fact, a lot worse than just “not good”. Bloody awful comes close, but I do not think any words can describe exactly what is going on with my family at the moment. Maybe I’ll try drawing something to represent how bad things are…

 

I have not slept properly for the last week, partly because of recent events, and partly because of the pain in my legs, which is worse than usual, but at least I have managed to get rid of the walking stick. My hands have been painful too, so I have not been able to cross stitch or knit for very long, but I have persevered and the pain in my hands has at least eased enough for me to cross stitch a bit more. The pain in my legs is not promising to ease up any time soon, so I have had to increase my pain meds for the time being. Hopefully that will help combat the pain that is starting in my shoulders and upper arms too…

 

Despite awful goings on, I am very happy with my home life and the wonderful relationship I have with my lovely husband. He truly is a godsend. Yesterday we went to the garden centre and bought quite a few beautiful plants for under £20 (that’s a total, not individual prices!) for our garden, including a buddleja, which I am quite excited about – it’s pink!! My lovely husband will be planting these out this week. I think the others we got were ivy and wall flowers, but I’m not too good with plants, so don’t hold me to that!

 

Anyway, the fibro-fog is starting to set in again now, so I will return next week with more updates. I’m sure this family stuff will sort itself out, so I’m trying not to worry about it. Too much.

Grrrrrrrr! (yes, I’m growling)

… and I’m not quite sure why!

 

The cross stitch and the knitting are going well, as I have finished two projects this week, but the fibro is still confusing me. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going and I’m stupidly being quiet about it so as not to upset hubby. I think this could be the start of a really nasty flare-up, but I could just be getting a cold or something….

 

Well, I must look on the bright side: at least I have finished two projects this week, kept my promise to update this blog, kept the other two blogs up to date AND installed the new release of Ubuntu!

Christmas in October

If you read my other blogs on WordPress and Blogger, you will already know that I have spent the last week or so knitting Christmas decorations for my Mum’s Soup-A-Bazaar (which used to be called a Soup Morning, something like a coffee morning but with soup!) to help her raise money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association (the Sarum and Pembroke Chapter of the Foresters’ nominated charity this year). You may also know already that I have over-done it, yet again, and made myself ill.

How clever of me.

Why can’t I learn my limitations and not exceed them? Why do I consistently try to do too much?

On another note, I have realised that I have been neglecting this blog somewhat, and so it isn’t really of any use to me for keeping track of my fibromyalgia. Therefore, I have decided to make a point of blogging every weekend, so that I get into the habit of blogging on a regular basis about the fibro and get used to documenting how I am coping and/or dealing with it.

I shouldn’t place any bets on this though, because I will probably forget before next weekend and wind up writing this same decision again at some point. I really should look into brushing up on my memory improving skills. I have completely forgotten this week to phone the Cat Protection League about the cat Penguinclaw and I want to adopt. Hopefully I will remember on Monday…

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I have been sat here, fingers poised above the keyboard, staring at the blinking cursor, for what feels like forever. Wondering what to write. Thinking about whether I should write at all. And then, as if by magic, my fingers started to move over the keys.

Today is the fifth anniversary of my Dad passing away following a heart attack that left him brain damaged. I cannot believe five years have passed since I spent an eternity in a side room on the A&E spill-0ver ward watching my father fade away and not even understand what was happening to him, or where he was… An eternity in that small room, stealing a few moments of sleep in an uncomfortable chair while Dad slept, knowing that he was going to die from this chemical pneumonia he had developed but not knowing when, how long he would continue to breathe in that broken way, how long I could bear to listen to it…

Five years.

So much has happened in those five years. I wonder what Dad would make of the woman I am now. I have got married, rekindled my love for cross stitching and knitting, lost my job through illness and found inner peace and true happiness.

I still miss him terribly. He was a wonderful man, a simple lorry driver who lived for the moment and loved life, food and a good beer and a laugh at the weekend. He only ever wanted happiness for his four children, and I am so glad that I have found this myself. But when will the grief at his passing finally fade? Why do I continue to have nightmares in which I am back in that tiny hospital room with no air? Why was he taken from me so soon?

Questions that may never be answered.

Today I am glad to have my husband, who is so lovely to me, and such a great help with the grief that I still suffer from.

Thank you, Jay. Without you, I would not exist.